Wimps, Women, and Children
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. I Timothy 5:8
The Lord has given and set in order His own design for the home. The first example is Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They loved and nurtured each other in the presence of the Lord. When sin entered into their world, it caused grief, guilt, discord and death.
After original sin, the husband and wife would struggle to live and would both endure a curse on the ground and on their bodies. Marriage is tough. Being a married couple for any amount of time is a big deal. Leaving father and mother and cleaving to your spouse as the Lord ordered the home, is important.
The context of this verse is caring for others. In particular a widow must be cared for by her immediate family. A son should take the lead to ensure his mom has what she needs after the husband has passed away. Other relationships in context include: sisters, nieces, nephews, and fathers. Think about the immediate family: Husband – wife – children. Let’s make application in this context.
The man is to take the lead and provide for the household the Lord has entrusted to him. There are several ways in which the man can lead. At first I called this article: “The Providing Man” then realized that a much better title that describes many Christian men today would be “Wimps, Women, and Children.” I along with others have struggled with this. Men, we can be wimps. “Wimp” is defined by Encarta as “an offensive term that deliberately insults somebody regarded as weak, timid, unassertive, or ineffectual.” I don’t want to be a wimp, and neither do you. Men seeking excellence as a man do not want to be ineffectual or unassertive. When the temptation to not provide the leadership God has called you provide to knocks on your door, remember these following truths.
The man should provide for physical needs. If a child is hungry, he should be fed. The father is working a job in order to provide the basic physical needs. Food, shelter, and clothing, are the basics every person needs. An infant, toddler, primary, elementary student or even a teenager are not charged with the responsibility to care for their own physical necessities. It is the husband or father. This verse is written in a way emphasizing the masculine to demonstrate the calling of God on the man to provide. All men are called to work some kind of job to earn a living. The wife can work if she likes, but the man should be treating her like royalty in the manner he provides. The Proverbs 31 woman is a good example for the lady of the home. She must also have initiative and minister to those in her care.
The man should provide for emotional needs. Relational needs go right along with this. The wife needs to know she is cherished. Also the sons and daughters needs to know they are valued by the father. This must be communicated in word and in action. Quality time spent together, deep conversations enjoyed, playful moments, playing a game, teaching moments, prayerful moments must be shared. The man is instructed to dwell with his wife “according to knowledge.” Some men know “What buttons to push” to make others react and become angry. This is not right. The man should know what emotional encouragement his wife and children have and then meet it. The family should feel safe and secure in relational and emotional ways with the husband and father. The man of the home should not play games with the emotions of his wife or children. He needs to be a steady leader. Avoid the “roller coaster” affect some strive for in manipulating emotions.
The man should provide for spiritual needs. Called to provide leadership, the man should take the spiritual initiative in the home. Like the Dodge truck slogan “Grab Life by the Horns” a man should grab hold of his spiritual responsibility. Many times a mother brings the kids to church and the father is reluctant to attend. Men in that frame of mind are not the spiritual leaders God wants for them to be. Men who are afraid to pray, afraid to participate in the life of the church, or afraid to talk of spiritual things need to “grow up” and mature in these areas. The husband should say “Let’s go to church – be sure to bring your Bible.” The man should foster a love for God in his children by the example of his spiritual leadership.
As you read this do you get the idea that the leader is the servant? Jesus in Luke 22:26 said, “He that is greatest among you… let him be as he that doth serve” Men – lead by serving. Instead of “Wimps, Women and Children” with consistent work and the help of the Lord, you could change the title of your life to “The Providing Man.”